What’s it about?
Moby-Dick is lauded as one of America’s greatest romantic novels. Herman Melville took his own experiences as a whaler to bring the tragic true story of the Essex to life. This is an interpretation of Melville meeting the sole survivor of the shipwreck, and the dramatic recreation of the fateful voyage.

Segue
Dear Chris Hemsworth fangirls, you keep pining for this film, I do not think it contains what you think it contains*

What did we think?
Ishmael^ says: An epic retelling of one man’s monomania that led to the destruction of a great whaling vessel, and the deaths of most of its crew. The brutality and beauty of whaling is told in vivid realism, with impeccable execution: the broad 1820’s Nantucket accents; the graphic harpooning and gutting of a whale; the impending sense of madness and doom. It just feels a tad bloated – a ye olde saga in an age of 15 second attention-spans.

*It says quite clearly on the poster … “Based on the incredible true story that inspired Moby-Dick”. Not “Chris Hemsworth takes his shirt off and reveals his rock-hard abs”.

^Not really, it’s actually me – Stephen Scott – I just thought, for a lark, that for this one review, you could, you know, call me Ishmael?

What’s it about?
Angelina Jolie Pitt directs herself and her real-life betrothed (Brad Pitt) as they play a disenchanted husband and wife, holidaying by the French coast as he tries to write a new book and she languishes in large hats, resenting the local culture and generally being miserable.

What did we think?
Angela Young says: This film has been prey to a lot of speculation, most of it predicting a big bunch of pretentious self-indulgent wank. Bizarrely, despite the fact that it is indeed, basically a big bunch of pretentious, self-indulgent wank, I rather enjoyed it. The cinematic colour and styling suits its mid-‘70s setting like a glove, and the titillating twist to the story adds a little frisson of excitement, albeit not the greatest of crescendoes. Prepare for lots of moody pouting and sideways glances, and you could just get something out of it too.

What’s it about?
Three teenage scouts struggle with unpopularity but when a zombie outbreak occurs they realise that their carefully honed survival skills are just what’s required.

What we thought
Dan says: This “sexy” horror “comedy” starts well. Twenty minutes of character creation and tense moments suddenly unravels as soon as the zombies turn up. A bag full of zombie jokes is plucked from every five minutes throughout the film and who cares what’s been established so far.

This film doesn’t just fail the Bechdel test, it then spends a week sending assault threats to it via Twitter. If I was a 14 year old boy at a slumber party in the late eighties I probably would have loved it but make no mistake, this film is bad. Bad enough to hate watch.

What’s it About?
Katniss continues in her fight against the Capitol.

What Did We Think?
Elizabeth says: It was never a good idea to split the weakest of the book trilogy into two movies. There’s simply not enough plot to sustain the two films in a way feels in any way energetic. Significant deaths that had me sobbing in the book were so rushed that I wasn’t sure if they actually occurred or if Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) was hallucinating. Moreover, I’m not sure what happened in the direction department, but all the chemistry between the three leads (Gale, Katniss and Peeta) has melted away. Lawrence, Liam Hemsworth and Josh Hutcherson all turn in great individual performances but the love triangle vibe has gone limp; honestly it felt like Katniss was more affectionate towards Peeta when she hated him. On the heels of copycat concept films such as Divergent and The Maze Runner, Mockingjay Part Two feels tired and done and is at least 30 minutes too long.

What’s It About?
Bond, James Bond. (No spoilers here!)

What Did We Think?
Liz says: Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, shaken not stirred, starring James Bond and Hans Lander. Seriously, if you saw MI5, and Inglorious Basterds, then you’ve already seen this movie. Still an enjoyable romp, Spectre is on par with Skyfall, leagues ahead of Quantum of Solace (that’s not hard) but falls far short of the high-rolling brilliance of Casino Royale.

What’s it about?
Julia Roberts, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Nicole Kidman star as investigators whose lives are turned upside down when one of their children is brutally murdered.

What did we think?
I can’t remember if Kidman was a good actress back when her face could move, but she certainly isn’t now. Luckily Roberts and Ejiofor are outstanding in this gripping thriller, which keeps you guessing and makes you feel pretty damned good about yourself when/if you work out the plot twists before they happen (er, yes, that would be me). A tale of obsession, revenge and, of course, secrets, it’s well told and expertly directed by Billy Ray, though confusion between past and presence could have been avoided if they’d just removed the beard on Ejiofor’s younger self.