Step Up: All In
What’s it about?
Boy breaks up with dance crew. Needs new crew and money to survive. Dance. Boys finds new crew. Dance. Boy meets girl. Conflict ensues with a dance battle, priorities (dance) and his life. Dance dance dance.
What did we think?
Elodie says: Dancing gives you endorphins. Endorphins should make you happy… but no amount of dancing can make this film any better. Do yourself a favour and cha cha cha in the opposite direction .
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
What’s it about?
New York is under the thumb of a heavily armed gang (clan) called the Foot. Four mutated teenagers (spoiler – they’re evolved from turtles) fight back and get caught up in a series of implausible events. It’s worse than it sounds.
What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: The new TMNT movie is a cynical attempt to position a franchise for a new younger audience. Sadly it does so at the expense of the existing fanbase by serving up a flimsy, overly childish plot that is too simple for adults and laden with positively cringe-worthy dialogue.
It also pays scant regard to scientific reality and apparently, Splinter is Japanese for “exposition rat”. The retconning of their origin simply beggars belief (and this from a TMNT fan more than happy to accept the basic premise of 6-foot-tall ninja turtles existing).
Without the entertaining one-liners from Michelango this entire movie would be abysmal. Even so, the humour only elevates it to terrible. I only liked three things in this movie: Michelangelo, the fact Shredder is actually badass and the very last shot of the entire debacle referencing the song ‘So Happy Together’ which is, of course, a 60s song released by a band called The Turtles. Sadly this unexpected subtlety is the cleverest part of the entire movie.
There’s an impressive fight scene (singular) but overall this is mindless and occasionally painful. Cowabungle.
The Skeleton Twins
What’s it about?
Twins – estranged for a decade – are brought together through dramatic circumstances and the reunion forces them to examine their lives
What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: If there can be such a thing as a beautiful film about depression then this is that movie. Thoughtful, touching and heartbreaking. And wonderful.
Casting talented comedians Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig might seem an odd choice – and any of their fans expecting a comedy may exit traumatised – but they add a gravitas and contrast that only emphasises the gritty, realistic nature of something that touches so many people. Director Craig Johnson manages to avoid preaching or delivering an obvious lesson, instead offering up a sensitive glimpse into everyday dreams and the downs that often accompany them. Closer to real life than some might feel comfortable with but stronger for it.
The Maze Runner
What’s it about?
One by one, month after month, teenage boys arrive in a glade, surrounded by a maze. Memories wiped, they only know their names. The lost boys form a society which is rocked by the arrival of Thomas, whose curiosity and natural ability as a ‘runner’ in the maze brings fresh danger, but also the chance of escape.
What did we think?
Francesca says: Based on the YA book by James Dashner, this is director Wes Ball’s first feature length film, and it shows in the sometimes clunky storytelling. However, with fantastic production design, a solid young cast and suspenseful action scenes complete with proper scary monsters, this is a perfectly entertaining film, as long as you don’t think about it too hard (after so many months in the glade, why do all these boys still have such great hair?).
This is based on book one of a trilogy (of course), and is certain to please the Hunger Games crowd, so enjoy and stay tuned for the sequel.
Into the Storm
What it’s about?
A group of storm chasers are shooting a documentary about tornados. Meanwhile, a small town lays in the path of a giant storm.
What did we think?
Andrew says: If you’ve seen Twister then you’ve seen this movie. If you haven’t seen Twister, go rent it from the video store and save your cinema cashola. The plot is weak, acting is pretty lame and the attempt at the “home video” style cinematography is poorly executed. The few tornado scenes where the film’s budget was spent were short-lived and unconvincing. Overall, it blows. Yeah, I went there.
Boyhood
What’s it about?
A boy called Mason literally grows up before our eyes. No, seriously… This film uses the same cast over 12 years.
What did we think?
Elizabeth says: The sheer scope of this film is reason enough to make it compulsory viewing. IT’S 12 YEARS. WITH THE SAME CAST. Apparently not even their contracts could legally cover the whole span of the filming. Boyhood is the closest thing you’ll get to seeing real-life on the big screen without it being a documentary. It doesn’t feel scripted, and yet it is. It doesn’t feel directed, and yet it is – meticulously. Not a lot happens in Hollywood terms… there’s no big climax, no massive turning point, no soaring violin strings or life-altering decisions to make… Here is a film with next to no plot, and yet it’s one of the most compelling offerings to grace our screens in years.
What’s Popular
A Street Cat Named Bob
What’s it about?
A recovering heroin addict uses up five of his nine lives when he survives an overdose, gets a leg-up from a case-worker/guardian angel, meets a girl who might help him straighten out his life, tries to reconnect with his father, and is adopted by a street cat.
What did we think?
Stephen Scott says: Homelessness and drug addiction go hand in hand; and this story opens your eyes to what happens on the other side of the tracks, and just how incredibly hard it is to get a second chance. Whilst a little clunky in its telling, the emotional connection of this harrowing, yet heartwarming story will leave you with a tear in your eye, and the knowledge that cats are indeed the best people.
Fifty Shades Darker
What’s it about?
The sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey sees sexually dominant Christian Grey beg his lady love, Anastasia Steel to come (snigger) back into his life, but not without women from his past shaking things up.
What did we think?
Andrew Danyals says: I have to admit that while watching this, I had the urge to be tied up and licked. Or spanked. Pretty much anything to get my mind off this dreadful movie. While it has slightly better eroticism than the first one (not necessarily saying much), the sequel suffers from a discordant narrative that drove me nuts. It’s all over the place. I like seeing the exploration of erotic themes and empowering situations on the big screen but this barely qualifies as the former and still confuses as the latter. I still can’t get over how a film about this sort of sex is somehow so very vanilla.
DISSENTING SQR REVIEW BELOW
Patriots Day
What’s it about?
A retelling of the horrific Boston Marathon bombing in 2013, and the dramatic four-day chase of the Tsarnaev brothers.
What did we think?
Angela Young says: Hollywood dramatising recent tragic events makes me uneasy, so I can’t say I find this film anything other than distasteful and unnecessary. That said, it’s reasonably well told (not too much high-drama BS thrown in with the facts) and a lot of the actors do a pretty good job, including Kevin Bacon and a strangely deflated-looking John Goodman, though Mark Wahlberg’s made-up hero character designed to neatly tie things up is pretty overdone. I’d much rather see a well-made documentary.
Live By Night
What’s it about?
It’s the 1920s, and Ben Affleck is a zoot suit-wearing, machine gun-toting gangster. Sometimes he has feelings, but you can’t really tell.
What we thought
Amy Currie says: Live by Night is overstuffed with plot and takes itself far too seriously. I’m sure the book on which it was based is quite interesting, and that it would have made a decent Netflix series. As it is, it’s not so much a saga as an edited highlights package. It certainly looks pretty, and some of the subplots and characters are genuinely intriguing. They’re gone in a flash, though, and we’re back to more of Affleck not moving his face.
Don’t bother.
Editor's Choice
A Street Cat Named Bob
What’s it about?
A recovering heroin addict uses up five of his nine lives when he survives an overdose, gets a leg-up from a case-worker/guardian angel, meets a girl who might help him straighten out his life, tries to reconnect with his father, and is adopted by a street cat.
What did we think?
Stephen Scott says: Homelessness and drug addiction go hand in hand; and this story opens your eyes to what happens on the other side of the tracks, and just how incredibly hard it is to get a second chance. Whilst a little clunky in its telling, the emotional connection of this harrowing, yet heartwarming story will leave you with a tear in your eye, and the knowledge that cats are indeed the best people.
Fifty Shades Darker
What’s it about?
The sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey sees sexually dominant Christian Grey beg his lady love, Anastasia Steel to come (snigger) back into his life, but not without women from his past shaking things up.
What did we think?
Andrew Danyals says: I have to admit that while watching this, I had the urge to be tied up and licked. Or spanked. Pretty much anything to get my mind off this dreadful movie. While it has slightly better eroticism than the first one (not necessarily saying much), the sequel suffers from a discordant narrative that drove me nuts. It’s all over the place. I like seeing the exploration of erotic themes and empowering situations on the big screen but this barely qualifies as the former and still confuses as the latter. I still can’t get over how a film about this sort of sex is somehow so very vanilla.
DISSENTING SQR REVIEW BELOW
Patriots Day
What’s it about?
A retelling of the horrific Boston Marathon bombing in 2013, and the dramatic four-day chase of the Tsarnaev brothers.
What did we think?
Angela Young says: Hollywood dramatising recent tragic events makes me uneasy, so I can’t say I find this film anything other than distasteful and unnecessary. That said, it’s reasonably well told (not too much high-drama BS thrown in with the facts) and a lot of the actors do a pretty good job, including Kevin Bacon and a strangely deflated-looking John Goodman, though Mark Wahlberg’s made-up hero character designed to neatly tie things up is pretty overdone. I’d much rather see a well-made documentary.
Live By Night
What’s it about?
It’s the 1920s, and Ben Affleck is a zoot suit-wearing, machine gun-toting gangster. Sometimes he has feelings, but you can’t really tell.
What we thought
Amy Currie says: Live by Night is overstuffed with plot and takes itself far too seriously. I’m sure the book on which it was based is quite interesting, and that it would have made a decent Netflix series. As it is, it’s not so much a saga as an edited highlights package. It certainly looks pretty, and some of the subplots and characters are genuinely intriguing. They’re gone in a flash, though, and we’re back to more of Affleck not moving his face.
Don’t bother.