Self/Less
What’s it about?
An ageing billionaire is given the chance to cheat death by having his mind transferred into a younger body. When his curiosity threatens the secrecy of the project he must cheat death again… and again… and again.
What we thought
Dan says: It’s like the creators of this film were experimenting with teleportation. Their clever ‘brain-swap’ sci-fi script climbed into the machine but they didn’t notice a gross little nineties action film buzz in at the last moment.
When the smoke clears you’ve got a vaguely interesting tale (brightened up by some artsy editing) that starts to digest itself with dull car chases and lots of uninspired gun fights. I never looked at my watch but I did forget I’d seen it the following day.
The Gallows
What’s it about?
Twenty years after a boy dies while performing in a high school play, a group of students reviving the play are terrorised by his malevolent ghost.
What did we think?
Dominic Barlow says: Behold yet another in the spate of tedious found-footage horror movies that Paranormal Activity unleashed. The usual problems are present – boring attempts at being scary, strained believability in the idea that someone would film it all – but we’re also given what might be the most loathsome main character in any film this year. Another found-footage chiller from this year, Unfriended, showed that vile protagonists are no obstacle to inventive film-making, but there’s no value like that to be found here.
Magic Mike XXL
What’s it about?
Five strippers go to a stripping convention for one last strip.
What did we think?
Elizabeth Best says: This is the movie everyone thought the original would be: an excuse for hot guys to get their kit off and a socially sanctioned way for women to drool over said guys. In between the pelvic thrusting, (I’m PRETTY sure there were scenes between the thrusting…) there’s a sense of humour that was missing from Magic Mike, making this film sillier but somehow more enjoyable (not just because of the semi-naked men, shut up.) If you’ve ever wanted to see porn on the big screen, this is your chance.
Terminator: Genisys
What’s it about?
Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) is sent back to protect Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) from the Terminator (Arnold Schwartzenegger), but Sarah isn’t the fragile flower she was supposed to be at this point in time. So what happened in the future/past to speed up her transition into butt-kicking warrior?
What did we think?
Elizabeth Best says: T5 pays homage without hitting you over the head, goes meta without ramming it home and reboots the franchise with a suitably satisfying time-bending plot. It’s the first Terminator film to feel like a Terminator film since T2. The only thing really wrong with this film is Clarke; Linda Hamilton she ain’t. If you haven’t watched the trailer, don’t: spoilers abound and some cool reveals won’t be revelations at all. Ratings wise, I give the pre-credits film 3.5 stars… A post-credits sting scene drops that to a 3. You were so close, guys.
Amy
What’s it about?
Amy Winehouse created one of the greatest albums of our time, thrusting herself into the spotlight of public judgement: exactly the life she wanted to avoid.
What we thought
Stephen Scott says: There are train wrecks and there is Amy Winehouse. The opening of this documentary introduces us to a stella talent, a cheeky young lass with an old soul and the voice of a blues legend. Then the train wreck begins and doesn’t stop. Amy fell in love with a gold-digging drug addict and surrounded herself with “yes” men (including her father). It’s sad, it’s depressing, but how else could she have written such amazing music?
Is there any way I can use weeping emoticons instead of stars?
😢😭😰
Love and Mercy
Wouldn’t it be nice?
What’s Popular
Blade Runner 2049
What’s it about?
30 years after the exploits of Roy Batty, rogue replicants continue to be retired by Blade Runners in rain soaked LA.
What did we think?
Stephen Scott says: Ridley Scott took the premise of Philip K Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and confronted us with its themes of evolution and identity. Villeneuve’s 2049 extrapolates and adds to those themes, enabling us to see things you people wouldn’t believe. If you’ve seen the original you have to watch this one. No review can do it justice.
5 Star Caveat: this movie will make little sense to those who haven’t seen the original. Watch Blade Runner The Final Cut (my recommendation, although all versions are OK according to Villeneuve) and if you want to be fully prepared, set aside 30 minutes to watch the trio of shorts created to fill in the blanks between 2019 and 2049.
Battle of the Sexes
What’s it about?
Based on the true story of the 1973 tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs.
What did we think?
Let’s face it, Billie Jean King is a badass, and if you don’t know all she’s done for inequality, you should find out. Start with this movie. There are parts when I wanted to stand up and yell ‘FUCKYESBILLIEJEANKING!’ There are a couple of parts where it lagged and I was ready for a snooze. Overall, pretty decent stuff. I wish I were more shocked about the blatant sexism and homophobia, but this story remains incredibly relevant in 2017. This film will make you want to fight the patriarchy.
Kingsman: The Golden Circle
What’s it about?
When their headquarters are destroyed and the world is held hostage, the Kingsman’s journey leads them to the discovery of an allied spy organization in the US. These two elite secret organisations must band together to defeat a common enemy.
What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: The original Kingsman flick was such a sleek, fresh and intelligent parody that it was always going to be hard to follow up. Without the element of surprise it was unclear how director Matthew Vaughn would attempt to continue to appeal. He chose to go over the top. The problem is they’ve amplified both the good and the bad aspects of the original. Insane and impressive actions sequences? Check. Great soundtrack? Check. Graphic and controversial scene set to light up the internet? Check.
The villainy is a bit more layered but the story probably runs a little long. It’s also bizarre that a movie with so many big name actors uses them so sparsely. The only one actually used – Julianne Moore – is delightful as the drug lord clamoring for legitimacy rather than a billion dollar ransom. But the rest of the Americans are reduced to virtual cameos while the surprise big-star cameo actually takes up a lot more screen time than expected (no spoilers here).
At the end of the day it’s just fun with familiar characters and for most fans of the original that’s more than enough.
The LEGO Ninjago Movie
What’s it about?
Master Wu (Jackie Chan), as wise-cracking as he is wise, mentors a group of young secret ninja warriors who defend their island home (Ninjago) from the nefarious deeds of the evil warlord Garmadon, aka The Worst Guy Ever, who also happens to be the dad of Lloyd (Dave Franco) one of the secret ninja.
What did we think?
If your kids liked The Lego Movie and The Lego Batman movie then they’ll like this one too. While it’s the weakest of the three lego feature films, its reliance on humour (both lego and non-lego) is the biggest drawcard for the young and the young at heart. Adults are more likely to appreciate the homage/satire of an 80s kung-fu movie though it’s not one you’ll want to rewatch over and over. Good school holiday fun though and the kids will roar with laughter at the toy-based slapstick.
Editor's Choice
Blade Runner 2049
What’s it about?
30 years after the exploits of Roy Batty, rogue replicants continue to be retired by Blade Runners in rain soaked LA.
What did we think?
Stephen Scott says: Ridley Scott took the premise of Philip K Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and confronted us with its themes of evolution and identity. Villeneuve’s 2049 extrapolates and adds to those themes, enabling us to see things you people wouldn’t believe. If you’ve seen the original you have to watch this one. No review can do it justice.
5 Star Caveat: this movie will make little sense to those who haven’t seen the original. Watch Blade Runner The Final Cut (my recommendation, although all versions are OK according to Villeneuve) and if you want to be fully prepared, set aside 30 minutes to watch the trio of shorts created to fill in the blanks between 2019 and 2049.
Battle of the Sexes
What’s it about?
Based on the true story of the 1973 tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs.
What did we think?
Let’s face it, Billie Jean King is a badass, and if you don’t know all she’s done for inequality, you should find out. Start with this movie. There are parts when I wanted to stand up and yell ‘FUCKYESBILLIEJEANKING!’ There are a couple of parts where it lagged and I was ready for a snooze. Overall, pretty decent stuff. I wish I were more shocked about the blatant sexism and homophobia, but this story remains incredibly relevant in 2017. This film will make you want to fight the patriarchy.
Kingsman: The Golden Circle
What’s it about?
When their headquarters are destroyed and the world is held hostage, the Kingsman’s journey leads them to the discovery of an allied spy organization in the US. These two elite secret organisations must band together to defeat a common enemy.
What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: The original Kingsman flick was such a sleek, fresh and intelligent parody that it was always going to be hard to follow up. Without the element of surprise it was unclear how director Matthew Vaughn would attempt to continue to appeal. He chose to go over the top. The problem is they’ve amplified both the good and the bad aspects of the original. Insane and impressive actions sequences? Check. Great soundtrack? Check. Graphic and controversial scene set to light up the internet? Check.
The villainy is a bit more layered but the story probably runs a little long. It’s also bizarre that a movie with so many big name actors uses them so sparsely. The only one actually used – Julianne Moore – is delightful as the drug lord clamoring for legitimacy rather than a billion dollar ransom. But the rest of the Americans are reduced to virtual cameos while the surprise big-star cameo actually takes up a lot more screen time than expected (no spoilers here).
At the end of the day it’s just fun with familiar characters and for most fans of the original that’s more than enough.
The LEGO Ninjago Movie
What’s it about?
Master Wu (Jackie Chan), as wise-cracking as he is wise, mentors a group of young secret ninja warriors who defend their island home (Ninjago) from the nefarious deeds of the evil warlord Garmadon, aka The Worst Guy Ever, who also happens to be the dad of Lloyd (Dave Franco) one of the secret ninja.
What did we think?
If your kids liked The Lego Movie and The Lego Batman movie then they’ll like this one too. While it’s the weakest of the three lego feature films, its reliance on humour (both lego and non-lego) is the biggest drawcard for the young and the young at heart. Adults are more likely to appreciate the homage/satire of an 80s kung-fu movie though it’s not one you’ll want to rewatch over and over. Good school holiday fun though and the kids will roar with laughter at the toy-based slapstick.