Hotel Transylvania
What’s it about?
Dracula is re-imagined as an exclusive hotelier and overprotective single father with serious control issues.
What did we think?
Lisa Clifford says: Much like a complimentary hotel toiletry kit, Hotel Transylvania was serviceable at a pinch, but ultimately disposable.
The tired and unimaginative story was balanced out by reasonable pacing and a few cute, monster-related call-backs. Kids in audience seemed to get a kick out of the fart jokes… and shamefully, so did the big kid next to me. Not really for everyone.
The Watch
What’s it about?
What happens when a do-gooder (Ben Stiller) and his hapless vigilante Neighbourhood Watch buddies (Jonah Hill, Vince Vaughn, Richard Ayoade) discover suburban disturbances are actually being caused by killer aliens? Dick jokes. Lots and lots of dick jokes.
What did we think?
Ben says: Almost 30 years ago, “he slimed me” was funny. Likening green goo to semen, repeatedly? Not so much. Despite its likeable lead buffoons, this formulaic sci-fi comedy is less than the sum of its – oh god I’m going there – private parts.
Kath & Kimderella
What’s it about?
The foxy ladies of Fountain Gate are back to tackle the European hierarchies (and the big screen) in their epic adventure of Kath and Kimderella. Set in the gorgeous but bankrupt Papilloma, the girls embark on a journey to Italy after Kath (Jane Turner) wins a holiday for two.
What did we think?
Elodie Boal says: The movie gets off to a triumphant start, but what happens next is a big jumble of awkwardness. This really is a pointless plot with a storyline that didn’t go anywhere. Out of place and the Cinderella references added a whole lot of cheese. Recycling is good but not when it means rehashing and reusing a lot of old television material.
Even I, a true fan, got lost in all the montages, dance sequences and oodles of costume changes that gave Sex and the City a run for its money.
I must admit the guest appearances were entertaining and Frank Woodley’s scene on the castle balcony was incredible. Overall however, I left rather disappointed. Only diehard fans, should see it. Otherwise, wait for $1 Tuesdays.
The Expendables 2
In all honesty, you already know if you want to see this film no matter the reviews. Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger together, punching people in the face and shooting everything that moves is an action fantasy fan’s wet dream. As such a bad critical reception won’t dissuade attendance (not forgetting of course that the film boasts a tonne of other action stars doing shooty/explody things and yelling stuff).
Expendables 2 is not Oscar material, nor is it ever pretending to be; however the it is very self aware and plays that card fast and often (on some occasions a tad too hard). Norris despite his cultural cache is essentially irrelevant to anything going on in the film and his screen time fails to add to the film. Arnie and Willis share probably the easiest and most engaging action banter, whilst Lundgren continues to impress in the interesting (for an action film) role of Gunnar. Statham is perhaps a little lost amongst the pile of muscled torsos all vying for screen time, but whenever he’s kicking people in the face he’s doing it as hard as he can just for you. Jet Li is in the first five minutes… maybe. Van Damme feels a bit under written, but his show down with Stallone is really all you want to see and it’s pretty damn cool.
Ultimately E2 isn’t quite up to the consistency of the first outing, but it’s super fun nonetheless.
Moonrise Kingdom
What’s it about?
Two kids, driven by love, run away setting a curious chain of events into motion as a New England community rush to find them.
What did we think?
If Oscars were awarded to the best movie rather than the most popular then the next would go to Moonrise Kingdom. I’m still smiling.
Delightfully quirky, Moonrise Kingdom is a triumph. It’s curious, off-beat and has so many layers you may not fully appreciate it until much later as you relive the adventures mentally and realise the depth of the interactions.
I DARE you to not fall in love with this film.
Hope Springs
What’s it about?
After thirty years of marriage, a middle-aged couple attends an intense, week-long counseling session to work on their relationship.
What did we think?
Five-star acting in a good but not great movie that will soon be forgotten.
Despite having Steve Carrell in it Hope Springs isn’t a comedy. It’s more insightful chuckles than laugh-out-loud and , while it’s intelligent, this is probably the largest failing as it seems unsure of itself when it comes to the laughter.
Poor pacing doesn’t help but the incredible performances from Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee-Jones and Carrell are almost worth the admission tickets. Almost.
At the end of the day the storyline is largely forgettable and I really didn’t need to see Streep masturbating.
What’s Popular
Penguins of Madagascar
What’s it about?
Four penguins fight their own nature to become a recklessly amazing super spy team, eventually teaming up with the international animal protection task force, The North Wind, to prevent their old enemy (they had no idea they had), Dr. Octavius Brine from robbing the world of cuteness! No, seriously.
What did we think?
Clint Skene says: Hands down, this is one of the funniest animated films I’ve seen in quite some time. It’s no secret that the Madagascar series had grown a little stale but I always held a soft spot for the black and white birds of awesomeness that were Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private. Great gags, a non-offensive application of 3D, a heaping helping of adorable penguin antics, and stellar performances from both Benedict Cumberbatch (Agent Classified) and John Malkovich (Dr. Octavius Brine), I can’t recommend this movie enough for audiences young and old.
The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies
What’s it about?
A hobbit gets caught up in… gods you should know this by know. I feel as if I’ve been in this cinema for years.
What did we think?
The third and final instalment of The Hobbit films is, rather thankfully, the shortest of the trilogy yet still manages to be too long. It doesn’t have as much bloating as its predecessors but there is still too many scenes and an elongated ending.
On the VERY positive side it also features an amazing battle scene that delights in both quality and length and Jackson doesn’t beat around the bush too much before getting into it. The plot wraps up nicely and the action abounds in an incredibly entertaining way and while it’s a shame it wasn’t a bit tighter (read shorter) this was probably the most entertaining of the three comfortably.
Paddington
What’s it about?
A young talking bear from darkest Peru is taken in by a slightly dysfunctional London family. Based on Michael Bond’s children books.
What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: Enchanting and earnest, Paddington might be the finest children’s book film adaptation of all time. It will certainly become one of the great family films.
Paddington is a loveable and well-meaning scamp who delights and will entertain everyone regardless of age. You will love this bear whether you grew up reading the stories or not. But rest assured if you did you’ll see references to most of them that will warm the heart. Even adults will melt and they have the added bonus of the subtext on immigration hysteria. Nicole Kidman surprises with a perfect over-the-top villain and Peter Capaldi is brilliant in his brief role. Stop reading this review and go see it.
The Water Diviner
What’s it about?
A low level psychic (Russel Crowe) journeys from Australia to find the remains of his sons destroyed in the Great War. He finds the enchanted world of the former Ottoman Empire has been cut into pieces by the politics of men.
What did we think?
Dan says: I am not a fan of Rusty at all but the guy sure can act. The story that he pushes along is beautifully shot and a joy to behold. It paints the faceless enemy as exactly what they are, more of us. Proud, angry and frightened.
The film treats the delicate story of Gallipoli with a great deal of respect though the third act gets a little bit “Indiana Jonesy”. There are some CGI issues and Rusty’s “Batman voice” can be a tad grating but ultimately this is a measured and heart-warming film with something for everyone. (Except kids. It’s a bit gruesome in parts)
Editor's Choice
Penguins of Madagascar
What’s it about?
Four penguins fight their own nature to become a recklessly amazing super spy team, eventually teaming up with the international animal protection task force, The North Wind, to prevent their old enemy (they had no idea they had), Dr. Octavius Brine from robbing the world of cuteness! No, seriously.
What did we think?
Clint Skene says: Hands down, this is one of the funniest animated films I’ve seen in quite some time. It’s no secret that the Madagascar series had grown a little stale but I always held a soft spot for the black and white birds of awesomeness that were Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private. Great gags, a non-offensive application of 3D, a heaping helping of adorable penguin antics, and stellar performances from both Benedict Cumberbatch (Agent Classified) and John Malkovich (Dr. Octavius Brine), I can’t recommend this movie enough for audiences young and old.
The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies
What’s it about?
A hobbit gets caught up in… gods you should know this by know. I feel as if I’ve been in this cinema for years.
What did we think?
The third and final instalment of The Hobbit films is, rather thankfully, the shortest of the trilogy yet still manages to be too long. It doesn’t have as much bloating as its predecessors but there is still too many scenes and an elongated ending.
On the VERY positive side it also features an amazing battle scene that delights in both quality and length and Jackson doesn’t beat around the bush too much before getting into it. The plot wraps up nicely and the action abounds in an incredibly entertaining way and while it’s a shame it wasn’t a bit tighter (read shorter) this was probably the most entertaining of the three comfortably.
Paddington
What’s it about?
A young talking bear from darkest Peru is taken in by a slightly dysfunctional London family. Based on Michael Bond’s children books.
What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: Enchanting and earnest, Paddington might be the finest children’s book film adaptation of all time. It will certainly become one of the great family films.
Paddington is a loveable and well-meaning scamp who delights and will entertain everyone regardless of age. You will love this bear whether you grew up reading the stories or not. But rest assured if you did you’ll see references to most of them that will warm the heart. Even adults will melt and they have the added bonus of the subtext on immigration hysteria. Nicole Kidman surprises with a perfect over-the-top villain and Peter Capaldi is brilliant in his brief role. Stop reading this review and go see it.
The Water Diviner
What’s it about?
A low level psychic (Russel Crowe) journeys from Australia to find the remains of his sons destroyed in the Great War. He finds the enchanted world of the former Ottoman Empire has been cut into pieces by the politics of men.
What did we think?
Dan says: I am not a fan of Rusty at all but the guy sure can act. The story that he pushes along is beautifully shot and a joy to behold. It paints the faceless enemy as exactly what they are, more of us. Proud, angry and frightened.
The film treats the delicate story of Gallipoli with a great deal of respect though the third act gets a little bit “Indiana Jonesy”. There are some CGI issues and Rusty’s “Batman voice” can be a tad grating but ultimately this is a measured and heart-warming film with something for everyone. (Except kids. It’s a bit gruesome in parts)