One Direction: This Is Us

What’s it about?
Five young men from various socio-economic backgrounds are employed by a faceless corporation on the same day. They discover that the service they have been hired for, when intelligently manipulated and directed, allows them godlike powers over the weak minded.

What did we think?
Dan says: Morgan Spurlock (Supersize Me) hides behind the camera on this documentary into the lives of five talented young performers as they descend into the trappings of fame. While the story of Justin Bieber was one of ability, diligence and humility, this hour and half long marketing stunt reveals just how un-engaging the inner mechanisms of the corporate music machine are. It’s like watching 1984 but Winston is absent and we’re expected to root for Big Brother.
I walked into this film an atheist. At the 36 minute point I prayed for the end of the film. After 1 hour and 21 minutes I prayed for death.
If you are a ‘Directioner’ then drink back another cup of delicious Kool-aid. You’ll love it.

Planes

What’s it about?
[ Dusty ] is a [ crop dusting plane ] who longs to be [ a racing plane ]. With the help of his friends and [ a cranky old war plane ] he tries to achieve his dreams, but will the dastardly [ Ripslinger ] foil his plans? And will [ Dusty ] manage to overcome his greatest weakness?

What did we think?
Dan says: The true irony is that a film about aircraft manages to be so middle-of-the-road. Someone took a copy of the ‘Save the Cat’ plot template and put in the very minimum amount of effort required to get this on screen.
There are some characters. There are some jokes. There’s every plot point you’d expect and nothing that you don’t. It’s not actually unpleasant to watch, but nor is it something that you’ll think about seconds after leaving the cinema.
The 3D is nice, but then the same could be said about walking outside.

RIPD

What’s it about?
A recently slain cop joins a team of undead police officers working for the Rest in Peace Department and tries to find the man who murdered him.

What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: It’s simply Men In Black with ghosts instead of aliens. And without as many laughs. Jeff Bridges has and is great fun while Ryan Reynolds and Kevin Bacon simply play the characters they normally play.

It’s actually not deserving of the scorn it received in the US as it’s not too bad a popcorn flick. It’s entertaining enough but to be frank, at the end of it there’s very little that will stick in your mind. Except Mary Louise-Parker and her boots. Mmmmmmm.

White House Down

What’s it about?
Generic action schmo John McClane – sorry, John Cale (Channing Tatum) – is the wrong man in the wrong place at the wrong time: the White House, on a tour with his daughter, when terrorists take over. It’s Die Hard with a President.

What did we think?
Ben says: You’ve seen Die Hard, right? Siege. Guns. Explosions. Wisecracks. Singlet-clad hero plays cat-and-mouse with baddies, keeping in touch with the world outside through walkie-talkie chats with a fellow law-abiding rebel who’s been told by superiors to go home. Head terrorist has fearsome and unhinged machinegun-happy lieutenant. Bespectacled tech geek terrorist cracks security while a Beethoven symphony plays. There’s a bit where John hides on top of an elevator; there’s a part when gung-ho helicopter dudes are shooting at John on the roof, mistaking him for a terrorist. There’s barefoot stuff; there’s a scene where a shard of glass is being removed painfully while the characters take a moment to reflect. Anyway, all that went down in that other movie. I can’t remember a thing about this one.

RED 2

What’s it about?
Retired C.I.A. agent Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) reunites his unlikely team of elite operatives for a global quest to… well, does it really matter why?

What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: There’s always an inherent risk in making a sequel to a quirky surprise movie. Can they sustain the charm without the unexpected character twists of the first film?

Well RED 2 starts off well as a jaunt that doesn’t take itself seriously. The action is fun, the premise of the character development is plausible and the laughs are present. However a flat middle means the movie drags a bit and the ending is bland. But Helen Mirren steals the show whenever she’s onscreen, mitigating the damage somewhat. We’re left with a movie that’s entertaining enough I suppose but it really lacks depth, emotion and re-watchability.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

What’s it about? 
A New York teenager (Lily Collins) recovers memories that open her eyes to a supernatural world mere ‘’mundane’’ mortals can’t see, dragging her into a centuries-long battle between good, evil and everything in between.

What did we think?
Lisa says: This is the latest in the line of supernatural teen romance flicks aimed at the post-Twilight audience – and yes, it’s also based on a popular book series. Fortunately, it stacks up pretty well against Twilight and others of its ilk with a stronger plot, less angst, better special effects, some great action sequences and a prettier, much more charismatic cast who exhibit actual chemistry. Established actors Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Lena Headey and Jared Harris add authority to the film, which is well-paced and easy to watch. BUT, while the movie is a vast improvement on others in its genre, it’s still a supernatural teen romance flick. Recommended for fans of the original books, and those with a weakness for the genre, like me.

What’s Popular

Me, Earl and the Dying Girl

What’s it about?
A high schooler who makes deliberately terrible parody films with his friend is forced by his mother to spend time with a schoolmate who is dying of cancer.

What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: We have seen emotional teenage movies before but there is a freshness about the quirky Me, Earl and the Dying Girl that sets it somewhat apart. It utilises familiar tropes – high school cliques, unusual parental relationships, etc – and intertwines them with some genuinely funny and fresh perspectives. It’s incredibly engaging and, despite its strong manipulative nature, most people will leave deep in thought and with their heart on their sleeve. It asks questions of the viewer on how you would react to a life-threatening disease but subtly rather than in your face. And delivers a few unexpected gems that only add to the emotional stew. Well worth a look.

Legend

Doug? I was terrified of him. Everyone was terrified of Doug. I’ve seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than see Doug. Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug. Dinsdale was a looney, but he was a happy looney. Lucky bastard.

Now I understand where Monty Python came up with the Piranha Brothers. Tom Hardy as both brothers? Kray Kray!

We Are Your Friends

What’s it about?
An impossibly handsome down-on-his-luck twenty-something (Zac Efron) dreams of being a DJ, his thuggish friend dreams of getting in more fights, his drug-dealing friend dreams of getting rich, his dopey looking friend dreams of something better. They party a lot, Zac meets an impossibly good-looking chicky-babe, things go bad, things go good. PCP EDM 128 BPM HASHTAG What – WHAT?

What we thought
Stephen Scott says: like American beer, We Are Your Friends is fun, fairly lightweight, but has a good heart. The target audience will love it then promptly forget about it 5 seconds later.

Want more in-depth analysis? Consider #WAYF to be a 21C version of Plato’s Republic, The Lord of The Rings, heck, even The Bible: it’s a morality tale to help you understand and avoid life’s pitfalls. It’s a story for today’s teens, tweens and in-betweens: you’re probably never going to make it big, but hey, someone does, so why not give it a go? Oh, and drugs are awesome! Oh, and don’t do drugs.

Post-script: it must be a nightmare growing up amongst the perfect people in The Valley. Bulging biceps, shining pearly white teeth and jaw-droopingly-amazing how-do-they-defy-gravity-like-that hand-crafted boobies as far as the eye can see. Maybe that’s why they drink so much. And take so many drugs. Lots of drugs. So many drugs. Don’t do drugs.

The Intern

The Devil Wears Prada’s intern takes on Taxi Driver as a “senior senior” intern. Could be a train wreck, could be gorgeous.

Editor's Choice

Me, Earl and the Dying Girl

What’s it about?
A high schooler who makes deliberately terrible parody films with his friend is forced by his mother to spend time with a schoolmate who is dying of cancer.

What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: We have seen emotional teenage movies before but there is a freshness about the quirky Me, Earl and the Dying Girl that sets it somewhat apart. It utilises familiar tropes – high school cliques, unusual parental relationships, etc – and intertwines them with some genuinely funny and fresh perspectives. It’s incredibly engaging and, despite its strong manipulative nature, most people will leave deep in thought and with their heart on their sleeve. It asks questions of the viewer on how you would react to a life-threatening disease but subtly rather than in your face. And delivers a few unexpected gems that only add to the emotional stew. Well worth a look.

Legend

Doug? I was terrified of him. Everyone was terrified of Doug. I’ve seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than see Doug. Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug. Dinsdale was a looney, but he was a happy looney. Lucky bastard.

Now I understand where Monty Python came up with the Piranha Brothers. Tom Hardy as both brothers? Kray Kray!

We Are Your Friends

What’s it about?
An impossibly handsome down-on-his-luck twenty-something (Zac Efron) dreams of being a DJ, his thuggish friend dreams of getting in more fights, his drug-dealing friend dreams of getting rich, his dopey looking friend dreams of something better. They party a lot, Zac meets an impossibly good-looking chicky-babe, things go bad, things go good. PCP EDM 128 BPM HASHTAG What – WHAT?

What we thought
Stephen Scott says: like American beer, We Are Your Friends is fun, fairly lightweight, but has a good heart. The target audience will love it then promptly forget about it 5 seconds later.

Want more in-depth analysis? Consider #WAYF to be a 21C version of Plato’s Republic, The Lord of The Rings, heck, even The Bible: it’s a morality tale to help you understand and avoid life’s pitfalls. It’s a story for today’s teens, tweens and in-betweens: you’re probably never going to make it big, but hey, someone does, so why not give it a go? Oh, and drugs are awesome! Oh, and don’t do drugs.

Post-script: it must be a nightmare growing up amongst the perfect people in The Valley. Bulging biceps, shining pearly white teeth and jaw-droopingly-amazing how-do-they-defy-gravity-like-that hand-crafted boobies as far as the eye can see. Maybe that’s why they drink so much. And take so many drugs. Lots of drugs. So many drugs. Don’t do drugs.

The Intern

The Devil Wears Prada’s intern takes on Taxi Driver as a “senior senior” intern. Could be a train wreck, could be gorgeous.

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