What’s it about?
Tina is a simple lass who is looking forward to going on a caravan holiday with her new boyfriend Chris (an “erotic caravanning holiday” as he puts it), where they will see the majestic sights of the Crich Tramway Museum, and the Keswick Pencil Museum – with a few brutal murders thrown in for good luck.

What do we think?
Stephen says: not a black comedy, an über-black comedy. No light penetrates the darkness even though people have reported it’s hilariously laugh-out-loud funny. I laughed. Three times. But the humour here is more creepy and uncomfortable. The type where you cringe as you guffaw. “Oh look, he smashed that man’s head into pulp – literally pulp (giggle).”

It’s beautifully acted, but slow paced, and when it comes down to it, a one trick pony that just doesn’t go anywhere.

What’s it about?
A mind-boggling list of Hollywood will-bes, currently-ares and has-beens star in a series of loosely connected shorts joined together by “The Pitch”, in which Dennis Quaid “plays” an unpredictable lunatic aggressively trying to sell his awful script to embattled studio exec Greg Kinnear (easily the most relatable character in the film).

What did we think?
Mitch says: A class of illiterate orphans with four broken pencils, three sheets of paper and a reference copy of Das Kapital could write a funnier movie than this, and there would probably be fewer dick jokes. If you ever feel like your life has no purpose, now you know it does: to go and punch Peter Farrelly right in his stupid face.

What’s it about?
After roasting the candy-housed witch in the fairy tale, Hansel and Gretel grow up and become, surprise surprise, witch hunters.

What did we think?
Liz says: We really need two rating systems. As a B-grade flick Hansel and Gretel is actually kind of enjoyable, even if it does suffer from a case of the “takes itself too seriously by the end” blues. But compare it to real movies and, well, let’s just say Hansel’s diabetes from eating too much candy as a kid comes up more than once. Curse you diabetes! It’s so schlocky bad that it ALMOST swings around to being good again. Almost. But Jeremy Renner gets his shirt off, so there is that.

What’s it about?
A beautiful aristocrat (Keira Knightly) in Imperial Russia learns the hard way that ‘’sin has a price’’ when she embarks on an affair with a wealthy young Count.

What did we think?
Lisa says: DISCLAIMER: This SuperQuickReview was written by a literary plebeian who has never read Tolstoy’s celebrated tome (me). As such, no comment has been made regarding the success of the story’s translation to film. I really don’t care.

Audience members will quickly become as infatuated with Anna Karenina as the tragic couple is with each other. The cast is superb and the film is visually exquisite. It has a unique, old-world theatre setting with highly stylized scene transitions. The only distraction was an unwelcome and uninteresting narrative about an unlucky-in-love landowner. Highly recommended for anyone who isn’t a Russian literary scholar with preconceived ideas of what the film should and shouldn’t be.