Red Dog: True Blue

What’s it about?
We learn about the early days of iconic outback canine Red Dog, and follow his adventures with his first ever BFF in this Aussie prequel.

What did we think?
Angela Young says: If you’re a softie, a dog lover, or you just don’t have a heart of stone, you probably loved the original Red Dog film. That loyal streak of red fluff who stole an outback town’s heart and gave a much-needed boost to the Australian film industry. Well, now we’re learning all about how he came to be out bush in the first place, and while it’s not quite such a heart-tugger as the first one, you’re probably going to still need some tissues if you go, and I recommend you do. Sterling effort from lead teenager Levi Miller (though Bryan Brown’s a bit iffy, sadly), but it’s the gorgeous Phoenix that steals the show as a four-legged star in the making.

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders

What’s it about?
Holy nostalgic cash-in! Adam West’s Batman returns in all his camp glory! Facing more villainous villainy than Aunt Harriet can begin to imagine!
What did we think?
Stephen Scott says: If you love 60s Batman, this will wipe away the pain of having to endure the histrionic horror of Batman V Superman forever. With three original cast; winks to the classic beyond-bad staging techniques; decent impressions of Penguin & Joker; and a storyline as lame as the originals; it’s a blast that matches, and occasionally exceeds expectations. It’s brave, bold, stupid fun.

Why him?

What’s it about?
Wholesome Stanford student Stephanie (Zoey Deutch) has a new eccentric (and utterly loaded) boyfriend (James Franco), and super-close Daddy (Bryan Cranston) is struggling to come to terms with the latest development in his little girl’s life.

What did we think?
Angela Young says: I went in with very low expectations, and was actually pleasantly surprised by this crass comedy. The basis for the story has been done to death, sure, but it’s been given a 2016 edge, and the performances, even from Franco, are really good. Special nod to little brother Scotty (played by Griffin Gluck) who is a scream, and to Keegan-Michael Key’s outrageous but loveable Gustave. Watch out, too, for some class lines from Megan Mullally as mum Barb. It’s a frankly hilarious script, as long as you don’t mind the f-word. And I don’t. I love it. Not something to watch with your own ma and pa, though, I’d wager.

Moana

What’s it about?
A Polynesian princess yearns for the open sea and when her island begins to die she embraces the opportunity to seek out the help of the demigod Maui and insist that he return the heart of the world.

What we thought
Dan says:
The stories of ancient tribal cultures tend to get lost in the flash and glitz of 21st century storytelling but Disney have a lot of skill redrafting ‘olde tales’. Moana is exceptional cinema. Lavish scenes, vibrant heartfelt characters and joyous songs combine in that Disney style to share the tales of another whole new world.

Like all of the Disney products there is a sprinkling of shoehorned emotional moments that could have hit the cutting room floor but in total it’s entirely satisfying. I’m still humming the songs and counting down the days until it opens and I can see it again.

Allied

What’s it about?
A Canadian airman working for the British forces in World War 2 meets a beautiful hero from the french resistance. The pair go deep undercover to assassinate a german target but end up storming the beaches of each other’s hearts.

What we thought
Dan Beeston says: A lot has been made of Brad Pitt’s separation from his wife, and rumours have abounded that Pitt had a secret dalliance with his on screen partner Marion Cotillard. Put those rumours to bed by watching just how little chemistry these characters have together. Every escalation in their relationship seems forced and unnatural. Some would say that we’re still feeling the tragic effects of World War 2. This film makes me agree.

The Founder

What’s it about? 

A down-on-his-luck milkshake machine salesman (Michael Keaton) comes across a hamburger joint that’s revolutionized fast food and has an idea on how to get involved in the business in a big way. A.k.a: the story of how an asshole came to claim he was the founder of McDonalds.

What did we think?

Elizabeth Best says: I always thought Ray Kroc was the founder of good old Maccas, but it turns out I was wrong… and sort of right. Ray “won” the right to call himself founder through a lot of clever assholery and fast talking that has to be seen to be believed. Here’s hoping the “Oscar buzz” for Keaton turns out to be true, as this is a fine performance to follow his turns in other nominated films Spotlight and Birdman. For a thoroughly fascinating movie on the origins of McDonalds, the story sure left a bad taste in my mouth. So much so that I’m boycotting them… at least, until I smell someone eating a delicious cheeseburger.

What’s Popular

Pacific Rim Uprising

What’s it about?
GIANT ROBOTS fight GIANT MONSTERS!! But this time they DO IT FOR A SECOND TIME!!

What we thought
Dan says: This is Pacific Rim ‘Lite’ and the one thing the original had going for it was that it was ‘heavy’: big characters, strong acting, imposing composition. They’ve replaced that with shrill teens, frenetic CGI and the goofy guy from Star Wars.

The first Pacific Rim film was far better than it had any right to be. This film takes that masterfully realised universe and splashes around the shallow end.

Blockers

What’s it about?
Three parents really, really do anything to ensure their daughters don’t have sex on prom night.

What we thought
Nick says: A little subversive and very poignant when it needs to be, Blockers is an incredibly effective and funny film that blends its adult comedy nicely with a story of a group of young teens making smart and empowering decisions.

Love, Simon

What’s it about?
Simon is a normal kid in his final year of high school. But Simon’s about to tell someone a secret that he’s been harbouring for a very long time. He’s gay.

What we thought
Dan says: You’ve seen this film before. It’s the hollywood teen romance film that you’ve already delighted in. It’s 10 Things I Hate About You. It’s She’s All That. It’s Can’t Hardly Wait. You’d think that the fact that it’s a boy who’s crushing on another boy might make it something different. The cool thing is, it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter at all that it’s a gay relationship instead of a straight one.

And that’s what makes this film matter so very much.

Also, by God it’s funny.

Red Sparrow

What’s it about?
You know all those 007 villains who seduce and manipulate James Bond? Well this is the film that shows you the training and life circumstances that lead them to that point.

What we thought
Dan says: Imagine if La Femme Nikita had a gun that shot not bullets, but sultry eyes, glistening lips and yearning genitals. This film reads like a 14 year old boy’s private fanfic. And not an emotional healthy boy either. The story telling is a mish-mash of torture-porn, normal porn, and deus ex machina.

The sad thing is there is a clever conceit and a decent storyline hidden deep within this cascade of lazy tropes and rape threats. The only thing going for it is Jennifer Lawrence in the nude, and if that’s your thing then I’m sure it’ll be on Mr Skin in a matter of weeks.

Now excuse me, I need a shower. Ugh!

Editor's Choice

Pacific Rim Uprising

What’s it about?
GIANT ROBOTS fight GIANT MONSTERS!! But this time they DO IT FOR A SECOND TIME!!

What we thought
Dan says: This is Pacific Rim ‘Lite’ and the one thing the original had going for it was that it was ‘heavy’: big characters, strong acting, imposing composition. They’ve replaced that with shrill teens, frenetic CGI and the goofy guy from Star Wars.

The first Pacific Rim film was far better than it had any right to be. This film takes that masterfully realised universe and splashes around the shallow end.

Blockers

What’s it about?
Three parents really, really do anything to ensure their daughters don’t have sex on prom night.

What we thought
Nick says: A little subversive and very poignant when it needs to be, Blockers is an incredibly effective and funny film that blends its adult comedy nicely with a story of a group of young teens making smart and empowering decisions.

Love, Simon

What’s it about?
Simon is a normal kid in his final year of high school. But Simon’s about to tell someone a secret that he’s been harbouring for a very long time. He’s gay.

What we thought
Dan says: You’ve seen this film before. It’s the hollywood teen romance film that you’ve already delighted in. It’s 10 Things I Hate About You. It’s She’s All That. It’s Can’t Hardly Wait. You’d think that the fact that it’s a boy who’s crushing on another boy might make it something different. The cool thing is, it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter at all that it’s a gay relationship instead of a straight one.

And that’s what makes this film matter so very much.

Also, by God it’s funny.

Red Sparrow

What’s it about?
You know all those 007 villains who seduce and manipulate James Bond? Well this is the film that shows you the training and life circumstances that lead them to that point.

What we thought
Dan says: Imagine if La Femme Nikita had a gun that shot not bullets, but sultry eyes, glistening lips and yearning genitals. This film reads like a 14 year old boy’s private fanfic. And not an emotional healthy boy either. The story telling is a mish-mash of torture-porn, normal porn, and deus ex machina.

The sad thing is there is a clever conceit and a decent storyline hidden deep within this cascade of lazy tropes and rape threats. The only thing going for it is Jennifer Lawrence in the nude, and if that’s your thing then I’m sure it’ll be on Mr Skin in a matter of weeks.

Now excuse me, I need a shower. Ugh!

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