John Carter
What’s it about?
Transplanted to Mars, a Civil War vet discovers a lush planet inhabited by 12-foot tall barbarians. Finding himself a prisoner of these creatures, he escapes, only to encounter a princess who is in desperate need of a savior.
What did we think?
Is it perfect? No.
Does it flow perfectly? Not quite.
Is it fun? Yes.
Is it a good story? Definitely.
Ignore the critics – this is a fantasy delight that all sci-fi fans should see. Not just because it’s a text that inspired so many of the ‘classics’, but because it’s an old-fashioned romp. It not only transported John Carter to Mars, it took me back to my childhood with the Edgar Rice Burroughs books that captured my imagination.
Wrath of the Titans
What’s it about?
Perseus braves the treacherous underworld to rescue his father, Zeus, captured by his son, Ares, and brother Hades who unleash the ancient Titans upon the world.
What did we think?
A messy celebration of poor film-making which proves special effects aren’t enough by themselves.
Why anyone thought a sequel was warranted is beyond me. Why they served this up boggles the mind even more. They certainly didn’t learn from their mistakes.
Mirror Mirror
What’s it about?
An evil queen steals control of a kingdom and an exiled princess enlists the help of seven resourceful rebels to win back her birthright.
What did we think?
Like a shiny red apple the lovely scenery and gorgeous star are enticing, but true to the original story the fruit leaves you feeling a bit off. The aesthetics are wonderful and Julia Robert’s wicked turn as the witch entertains but the re-imagination just never quite gels.
In a year of Snow White overload (Once Upon A time, Mirror Mirror and the upcoming Snow White & the Huntsman), this is not the Charming we were looking for. 2.5/5
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
YAWN… one of those films people tell you is brilliant because they think they’re supposed too.
An endless series of slow conversations, followed by someone walking somewhere, followed by another slow, monotone and utterly snooze worthy conversation.
Save your money.
Young Adult
What’s it about?
A fiction writer returns to her home town with the intent of rekindling a romance with her high-school boyfriend, who just happens to be happily married with a child.
What did we think?
Overly long, slow-paced artsy-wannabe flick with an intensely dislikable lead character. The sass from writer Diablo Cody’s earlier effort, Juno, seems to have disappeared. I didn’t really care what happened to anyone in the film and I want my money and my night back.
The Adventures of Tintin
What’s it about?
Hergé’s classic adventurer Tintin unravels the Secret of the Unicorn through a wild series of exploits accompanied by his super-sleuth dog Snowy and the inebriated Captain Haddock.
What did we think?
Stephen Scott says: This is what Indiana Jones IV should have been. Under Spielberg’s experienced hand, Hergé’s classic comes to performance-captured life in a rollicking story that easily matches the pantheon of immortal matinee adventurers. Blistering barnacles it’s bloody brilliant!
What’s Popular
The Boxtrolls
What’s it about?
A young orphaned boy raised by underground cave-dwelling trash collectors tries to save his friends from an evil exterminator. Based on the children’s novel ‘Here Be Monsters’ by Alan Snow.
What did we think?
Despite delightfully quirky animation and a genuinely rich story the Boxtrolls is an odd film. It’s a bit too scary for kids under six and anyone over 14 would be left feeling it’s too much of a kids movie. That’s quite a small niche market and the movie would have been stronger if they’d committed to either adults or kids.
The storyline is flat, the creatures are only sort of loveable and while the animation is a marvel its dirty feel isn’t quite appealing. The movie is itself like a cardboard box – so much potential until you open it and discover there wasn’t much in it.
Step Up: All In
What’s it about?
Boy breaks up with dance crew. Needs new crew and money to survive. Dance. Boys finds new crew. Dance. Boy meets girl. Conflict ensues with a dance battle, priorities (dance) and his life. Dance dance dance.
What did we think?
Elodie says: Dancing gives you endorphins. Endorphins should make you happy… but no amount of dancing can make this film any better. Do yourself a favour and cha cha cha in the opposite direction .
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
What’s it about?
New York is under the thumb of a heavily armed gang (clan) called the Foot. Four mutated teenagers (spoiler – they’re evolved from turtles) fight back and get caught up in a series of implausible events. It’s worse than it sounds.
What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: The new TMNT movie is a cynical attempt to position a franchise for a new younger audience. Sadly it does so at the expense of the existing fanbase by serving up a flimsy, overly childish plot that is too simple for adults and laden with positively cringe-worthy dialogue.
It also pays scant regard to scientific reality and apparently, Splinter is Japanese for “exposition rat”. The retconning of their origin simply beggars belief (and this from a TMNT fan more than happy to accept the basic premise of 6-foot-tall ninja turtles existing).
Without the entertaining one-liners from Michelango this entire movie would be abysmal. Even so, the humour only elevates it to terrible. I only liked three things in this movie: Michelangelo, the fact Shredder is actually badass and the very last shot of the entire debacle referencing the song ‘So Happy Together’ which is, of course, a 60s song released by a band called The Turtles. Sadly this unexpected subtlety is the cleverest part of the entire movie.
There’s an impressive fight scene (singular) but overall this is mindless and occasionally painful. Cowabungle.
The Skeleton Twins
What’s it about?
Twins – estranged for a decade – are brought together through dramatic circumstances and the reunion forces them to examine their lives
What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: If there can be such a thing as a beautiful film about depression then this is that movie. Thoughtful, touching and heartbreaking. And wonderful.
Casting talented comedians Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig might seem an odd choice – and any of their fans expecting a comedy may exit traumatised – but they add a gravitas and contrast that only emphasises the gritty, realistic nature of something that touches so many people. Director Craig Johnson manages to avoid preaching or delivering an obvious lesson, instead offering up a sensitive glimpse into everyday dreams and the downs that often accompany them. Closer to real life than some might feel comfortable with but stronger for it.
Editor's Choice
The Boxtrolls
What’s it about?
A young orphaned boy raised by underground cave-dwelling trash collectors tries to save his friends from an evil exterminator. Based on the children’s novel ‘Here Be Monsters’ by Alan Snow.
What did we think?
Despite delightfully quirky animation and a genuinely rich story the Boxtrolls is an odd film. It’s a bit too scary for kids under six and anyone over 14 would be left feeling it’s too much of a kids movie. That’s quite a small niche market and the movie would have been stronger if they’d committed to either adults or kids.
The storyline is flat, the creatures are only sort of loveable and while the animation is a marvel its dirty feel isn’t quite appealing. The movie is itself like a cardboard box – so much potential until you open it and discover there wasn’t much in it.
Step Up: All In
What’s it about?
Boy breaks up with dance crew. Needs new crew and money to survive. Dance. Boys finds new crew. Dance. Boy meets girl. Conflict ensues with a dance battle, priorities (dance) and his life. Dance dance dance.
What did we think?
Elodie says: Dancing gives you endorphins. Endorphins should make you happy… but no amount of dancing can make this film any better. Do yourself a favour and cha cha cha in the opposite direction .
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
What’s it about?
New York is under the thumb of a heavily armed gang (clan) called the Foot. Four mutated teenagers (spoiler – they’re evolved from turtles) fight back and get caught up in a series of implausible events. It’s worse than it sounds.
What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: The new TMNT movie is a cynical attempt to position a franchise for a new younger audience. Sadly it does so at the expense of the existing fanbase by serving up a flimsy, overly childish plot that is too simple for adults and laden with positively cringe-worthy dialogue.
It also pays scant regard to scientific reality and apparently, Splinter is Japanese for “exposition rat”. The retconning of their origin simply beggars belief (and this from a TMNT fan more than happy to accept the basic premise of 6-foot-tall ninja turtles existing).
Without the entertaining one-liners from Michelango this entire movie would be abysmal. Even so, the humour only elevates it to terrible. I only liked three things in this movie: Michelangelo, the fact Shredder is actually badass and the very last shot of the entire debacle referencing the song ‘So Happy Together’ which is, of course, a 60s song released by a band called The Turtles. Sadly this unexpected subtlety is the cleverest part of the entire movie.
There’s an impressive fight scene (singular) but overall this is mindless and occasionally painful. Cowabungle.
The Skeleton Twins
What’s it about?
Twins – estranged for a decade – are brought together through dramatic circumstances and the reunion forces them to examine their lives
What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: If there can be such a thing as a beautiful film about depression then this is that movie. Thoughtful, touching and heartbreaking. And wonderful.
Casting talented comedians Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig might seem an odd choice – and any of their fans expecting a comedy may exit traumatised – but they add a gravitas and contrast that only emphasises the gritty, realistic nature of something that touches so many people. Director Craig Johnson manages to avoid preaching or delivering an obvious lesson, instead offering up a sensitive glimpse into everyday dreams and the downs that often accompany them. Closer to real life than some might feel comfortable with but stronger for it.