Magic Mike
What’s it about?
A male stripper teaches a younger performer how to party, pick up women, and make easy money.
What did we think?
I was ready to have the pants entertained off me, and the first half hour did just that. There was so much eye candy early on – special mentions go to Matthew McConaughey’s on-screen bravado and bongo playing and Channing Tatum’s body moves. Oh. My. Goodness. Yes.
But, the sugar high simply wore off. Like being sober at a hen’s night, at first it was exciting and fun and a little bit naughty, but the longer it dragged on, the more you wished you were drunk off your ass.
Needed less romance, more bromance. Left the crowd wanting less talking, more stripping dancing. P.S. I need a teacup piglet.
The Amazing Spiderman
What’s it about?
Peter Parker finds a clue that might help him understand why his parents disappeared when he was young. His path puts him on a collision course with Dr. Curt Connors, his father’s former partner.
What did we think?
Anthony Sherratt says: My dad summed it up with: “the only thing I got out of that movie was sore eyes from the glasses”.
The plot has more holes than a spiderweb, Peter isn’t as likeable as previous incarnations and it feels as if the director was chosen merely because his surname is Webb. Not even strong performances from Emma Stone, Martin Sheen and Sally Field can save a film that only teens unfamiliar with the character will like.
Katy Perry: Part Of Me
What’s it about?
It’s officially described as a documentary that chronicles Katy Perry’s life on and off-stage.
What did we think?
While I’m not sure it counts as a movie, this PR-based-image-piece-masquerading-as-a-documentary actually wasn’t too bad a watch.
It might be easy to bag but it’s really only meant for current fans and , most importantly, they will actually get a lot out of not only the behind-the-scenes stuff but the music and concert.
TED
What’s it about?
As the result of a childhood wish, John Bennett’s teddy bear, Ted, came to life and has been by John’s side ever since – a friendship that’s tested when Lori, John’s girlfriend of four years, wants more from their relationship.
What did we think?
Today we present a multiple choice review to reflect individual demographics.
If you like (tick all that apply):
[ ] The 80s
[ ] Family Guy
[ ] Political Incorrectness
[ ] Puerile humour
[ ] A little crudity
[ ] Flash Gordon
[ ] pop-culture references
[ ] a cute but foul-mouthed main character
0-1 ticks: Ted is not the movie you seek. Move along.
2-3 ticks: You’ll get a chuckle or two out of Ted but it might not be for you.
4-5 ticks: Ted is an enjoyable movie that provides both laughs and fuzzies (warm fuzzies that is).
6+ ticks: Ted is frickin’ hilarious.
Personally, as a geek-child of the 80s with a dislike for Political Correctness I roared with laughter throughout. There’s probably a bit too much 80s love for younger people but there’ll still be enough for most people to appreciate and enjoy.
The Three Stooges
What’s it about?
While trying to save their childhood orphanage, Moe, Larry, and Curly inadvertently stumble into a murder plot and wind up starring in a reality TV show.
What did we think?
I have never understood the appeal of slapstick and this puerile offering has only strengthened my distaste. With incredibly weak writing, infantile humour and extended Jersey Shore character appearances, what’s not to dislike?
Not even seeing Snooky being poked in the eye made it pleasurable. Indeed by the end of the film I felt as if I’d been poked myself.
Brave
What’s it about?
Determined to make her own path in life, Princess Merida defies a custom that brings chaos to her kingdom. Can she undo a beastly curse?
What did we think?
For a movie featuring archery, it’s ironic that Brave doesn’t quite hit the mark. It’s a little predictable and oddly two-dimensional – very strange for a PIXAR offering. The characters are rich, the scenery is stunning but the story just lacks depth and any lasting connection.
I’m not sure whether it’s because the movie has had so many problems with re-writes and re-workings or Disney interfered to make it a ‘safe’ movie, but Brave is a solid movie without the usual PIXAR magic.
What’s Popular
The Imitation Game
What’s it about?
The true story of how mathematics won the second World War. A socially inept mathematical genius called Alan Turing is employed by a government agency to break the German cryptographic systems.
What we thought
Dan says: This is the story of one of the greatest of human achievements. Along with Babbage and Lovelace, Turing is one of the parents of the modern age. While the dramatisations sometimes inch into the realm of misinformation any man, woman and child whose life benefits from the invention of the computer owes it to themselves to watch this exciting story.
If they don’t owe it to themselves, they at least owe it to Alan Turing.
Oh god, I can’t stop crying.
Mr Turner
What is it about?
This is the story of William Turner, renowned but uncouth 19th century English landscape artist, starting at his middle ages.
What do we think?
Alistair Crawford says: If you are after a warts and all authentic period piece, where a genius but almost charmless master-painter, grunts, gropes and spits his way through the drudgery of 19th century life, then this is your movie. A few comical scenes involving self-important art critics, strange brothel experiences, newfangled photography and altercations with other illustrious artists of the time lighten the mood a little. But for the most part, this is about the hard and pedestrian life of the artist and those around him. In contrast, the only true beauty in this movie shines from his paintings, and the picturesque landscapes he occasionally wanders. If you value art history or long contemplative historical dramas, see this. Otherwise maybe not.
Penguins of Madagascar
What’s it about?
Four penguins fight their own nature to become a recklessly amazing super spy team, eventually teaming up with the international animal protection task force, The North Wind, to prevent their old enemy (they had no idea they had), Dr. Octavius Brine from robbing the world of cuteness! No, seriously.
What did we think?
Clint Skene says: Hands down, this is one of the funniest animated films I’ve seen in quite some time. It’s no secret that the Madagascar series had grown a little stale but I always held a soft spot for the black and white birds of awesomeness that were Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private. Great gags, a non-offensive application of 3D, a heaping helping of adorable penguin antics, and stellar performances from both Benedict Cumberbatch (Agent Classified) and John Malkovich (Dr. Octavius Brine), I can’t recommend this movie enough for audiences young and old.
The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies
What’s it about?
A hobbit gets caught up in… gods you should know this by know. I feel as if I’ve been in this cinema for years.
What did we think?
The third and final instalment of The Hobbit films is, rather thankfully, the shortest of the trilogy yet still manages to be too long. It doesn’t have as much bloating as its predecessors but there is still too many scenes and an elongated ending.
On the VERY positive side it also features an amazing battle scene that delights in both quality and length and Jackson doesn’t beat around the bush too much before getting into it. The plot wraps up nicely and the action abounds in an incredibly entertaining way and while it’s a shame it wasn’t a bit tighter (read shorter) this was probably the most entertaining of the three comfortably.
Editor's Choice
The Imitation Game
What’s it about?
The true story of how mathematics won the second World War. A socially inept mathematical genius called Alan Turing is employed by a government agency to break the German cryptographic systems.
What we thought
Dan says: This is the story of one of the greatest of human achievements. Along with Babbage and Lovelace, Turing is one of the parents of the modern age. While the dramatisations sometimes inch into the realm of misinformation any man, woman and child whose life benefits from the invention of the computer owes it to themselves to watch this exciting story.
If they don’t owe it to themselves, they at least owe it to Alan Turing.
Oh god, I can’t stop crying.
Mr Turner
What is it about?
This is the story of William Turner, renowned but uncouth 19th century English landscape artist, starting at his middle ages.
What do we think?
Alistair Crawford says: If you are after a warts and all authentic period piece, where a genius but almost charmless master-painter, grunts, gropes and spits his way through the drudgery of 19th century life, then this is your movie. A few comical scenes involving self-important art critics, strange brothel experiences, newfangled photography and altercations with other illustrious artists of the time lighten the mood a little. But for the most part, this is about the hard and pedestrian life of the artist and those around him. In contrast, the only true beauty in this movie shines from his paintings, and the picturesque landscapes he occasionally wanders. If you value art history or long contemplative historical dramas, see this. Otherwise maybe not.
Penguins of Madagascar
What’s it about?
Four penguins fight their own nature to become a recklessly amazing super spy team, eventually teaming up with the international animal protection task force, The North Wind, to prevent their old enemy (they had no idea they had), Dr. Octavius Brine from robbing the world of cuteness! No, seriously.
What did we think?
Clint Skene says: Hands down, this is one of the funniest animated films I’ve seen in quite some time. It’s no secret that the Madagascar series had grown a little stale but I always held a soft spot for the black and white birds of awesomeness that were Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private. Great gags, a non-offensive application of 3D, a heaping helping of adorable penguin antics, and stellar performances from both Benedict Cumberbatch (Agent Classified) and John Malkovich (Dr. Octavius Brine), I can’t recommend this movie enough for audiences young and old.
The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies
What’s it about?
A hobbit gets caught up in… gods you should know this by know. I feel as if I’ve been in this cinema for years.
What did we think?
The third and final instalment of The Hobbit films is, rather thankfully, the shortest of the trilogy yet still manages to be too long. It doesn’t have as much bloating as its predecessors but there is still too many scenes and an elongated ending.
On the VERY positive side it also features an amazing battle scene that delights in both quality and length and Jackson doesn’t beat around the bush too much before getting into it. The plot wraps up nicely and the action abounds in an incredibly entertaining way and while it’s a shame it wasn’t a bit tighter (read shorter) this was probably the most entertaining of the three comfortably.