WHAT'S IT ABOUT
After the murder of his father, a young lion prince flees his kingdom only to learn the true meaning of responsibility and bravery.
What did we think
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First up: I haven't seen the original animated movie, the stage show, the VR experience, or bought the lunchbox. Not because I didn't want to, I just never got round to it. I'm disappointed I finally saw this steaming mess of animal dung.
Seriously people - how is this story a classic?
All I took away from The Lion King was:
- Only royalty are important. Everyone else is fodder. How uplifting.
- Eating bugs is essentially like being a vegetarian, because in this universe bugs don't speak, sing or dance. Eating bugs = good guy. Eating meat = bad guy. Imagine their faces if Jiminy Cricket turned up!
- Monkeys and birds are immortal. Or they have triple the lifespans of lions (at least).
- Billy Eichner & Chiwetel Ejiofor steal the movie. Chiwetel will go down as one of the greatest actors of his generation, and Eichner has found his calling as an acerbicly witty meerkat.
- The digital animation (NOT live action - please stop calling it that) is stunning. Beautifully done. Stop complaining all you haters. It's incredible.
- Little things like Kimba's* response to being marked as the "chosen one" are beautifully done. Just a shame the storyline is terrible.
That's it.Seriously - how is this drivel a classic?
2 out of 5 (one for the animation and one for the Beauty & The Beast reference)
*Yeah, I went there. Simba / Kimba. Hey - I grew up with Kimba the White Lion. I know what I saw.